Procrastination is a Myth

Christi Newrutzen, with her messy top bun and sunglasses that look like she bought them from a car wash gift shop, is not the typical influencer Instagram tries to foist on me, which is maybe why I spent a good hour looking at her content the other day, time I’d likely promised to something else on my to-do list.

Christi has a series called “How Long Does It Actually Take?” where she times herself completing a task she’s been putting off for an absurdly long amount of time, such as waiting three years to make a dentist appointment. Often times a task takes her less than 10 minutes and typically runs her between 20-50 minutes.

Years ago, I got myself into doing small tasks around my home by setting a 15-minute timer and telling myself I’d just do 15-minutes worth of dishes or clothes folding or tub scrubbing or whatever. What I found was that, the task didn’t always take the whole 15-minutes or if it was a longer chore, that once I’d gotten started, I didn’t mind going on ahead and finishing it up.

Christi has tapped into an entertaining way of showing herself and her viewers the same thing that I’d discovered. I was spending more time dreading the task, putting it off and carrying the undone-ness of it around in the back of my mind than it actually took to just do it and get it over with.

Christi labels her reluctance to do a to-do procrastination.

But lately I’ve been wondering if procrastination isn’t a catchall phrase that we need to retire. When we judge ourselves for procrastinating, it’s often a polite way of calling ourselves lazy and irresponsible, which opens the door for self-punishment (Note: Christi has shown only kindness to herself and her friends that she helps out, I’m speaking on our broader use of the word!).

There can be legitimate reasons behind why we haven’t gotten something done. And I think when we brush it off as procrastination instead of exploring the “why” behind the “can’t” there’s lots of helpful information we’re overlooking. This is particularly relevant to our writing lives.

Earlier this year, I was working on a piece for a magazine. I’d had plenty of time to write the piece, but I just couldn’t get myself to begin writing it until a day or two before the deadline.

My instinct was to brush this off as typical writer procrastination, but I can’t deny that when I finally sat down to write the piece, it flowed right out of me (Don’t worry, I’d conducted the necessary interviews in advance!). It probably took me less than four hours to write it and my editor came back with few notes — in other words, it didn’t read like a rush job. Probably because I hadn’t felt rushed while writing it.

A session where the writing just flows is every writer’s dream. I’d experienced more anxiety about why I hadn’t started the piece yet than I’d felt actually writing it. I’ve begun to question whether I’m actually procrastinating or if after nearly 10 years of being a professional writer, I have a good handle on my deadline time management.

Maybe I couldn’t start the piece sooner because I knew that I didn’t really need to. Maybe I had other priorities that were more pressing and it made sense to get to the writing when I did.

What if I’d trusted in my own ability to manage my time appropriately rather than torturing myself for not having started sooner? It turns out the unnecessary anxiety was my method of self-sabotage, not procrastination.

Since that experience, I’ve been pushing myself to be more realistic about my capacity and my priorities. This past weekend, I found myself stressing about two things I wanted to apply for that had Monday deadlines. I couldn’t start the apps any sooner because one I’d just learned about and the other I’d mistakenly gotten it in my head was due December 15th.

No matter how much I wanted to stress about not turning my apps in so close to the deadline, I had to contend with reality. I couldn’t fret my way into rewinding time, but there was still plenty of time to get both applications finished before their deadlines. Making peace with the circumstances made it more possible for me to put my energy toward putting together the best applications I could instead of wasting so much of it beating myself up for “procrastinating.”

When I used to work for myself, I would put together these behemoth to-do lists (I still do, actually!). I would never finish them. I mentally berated myself to work harder. But at some point it occurred to me that it just wasn’t possible to complete every task on those lists in the span of a week.

I also began to realize some items lingered on my list week after week. While I was busy scolding myself for not being more productive, my procrastination was trying to tell me something.

Maybe the item wasn’t actually something I needed to complete. Perhaps, it simply wasn’t urgent. But having the task hanging out my to-do list made me feel like it was just one more thing I’d failed at getting done. How many items on my to-do list weren’t actually all that pressing?

Or maybe it was something I was extremely disinterested in doing. If I never seem to get around to a task, it might be time to permanently cross it off my to-do list or tough it out, get it done, and never take on anything like that again.

Or maybe I need help. I could be overwhelmed because I need to bring on other people to complete the project or I might not know enough to get the assignment done. Instead of powering through, it’s time to pause and come up with a better plan for the to-do.

These days, I still create my entirely too long weekly to-do lists, but to help manage my overwhelm, I create a shorter TODAY to-do list that usually only includes the two to four most pressing items. These are tasks I must start today or tasks I feel like I can realistically complete today in the amount of time that I have. And magically, I end up getting more done than if I was frantically scanning and stressing about every item on the list.

It’s a technique for forcing myself to be real about my capacity. Regardless of how much I’d like to get done, this is what’s possible. It doesn’t serve me or anyone else for me to be in denial over my actual bandwidth. It’s wild how much more we get done when things actually feel achievable.

A writing friend back home in Louisville texted me “Happy Thanksgiving!” We hadn’t chatted in awhile so I asked her how she’d been. She told me she’d been battling some writer’s block. It reminded me of a conversation that we’d had a few years earlier.

We’d been sitting at the bar of one of my favorite local restaurants. We’d both just put out books, on the same day actually, and she was telling me about her latest writing project. I’d felt like I was falling behind. I wasn’t writing. And I was worried. What if that first book was all I had in me?

My friend told it wasn’t something I should worry about because writers write. There just simply wasn’t any kind of future reality where I wouldn’t be writing. When I was ready, I would.

And she was right.

But I still think about all the time I spent being unkind to myself. The tortured hours staring at blank Word documents. Wondering why I couldn’t be like other writers who didn’t seem to need any down time between projects. I told myself I was wasting time, that I was a procrastinator.

But I wasn’t.

I was promoting a book. I was moving to a new city. I was living and digesting and figuring out what exactly I had to say about the living I’d been doing. My procrastination was trying to tell me to rest. It was trying to tell me to place my priorities elsewhere — for now.

I gifted my friend’s words back to her and my hope is that she’ll be kinder to herself than I was to myself during my fallow period.

What’s your procrastination trying to tell you?